Driving for another time this week into the very depths of our fair lady Toronto, we come upon the giant neon monster known as Filmores Gentelemen's Club. I had heard a few tales about the place from people with giant smiles on their faces and thought that we were in for a pretty damn good time. I couldn’t have been more right.

Parking is always the forefront of my worries whenever we go downtown since we don’t really like the subway that much and quite frankly it’s a pain in the ass to do all that walking if a place is nowhere near a station. So we were happy to find that Filmores has a parking lot just east of the club and of course you’re wondering how close it is to the club. For a five dollar flat rate which anyone who has paid for parking in our fair city knows it’s a good deal, there is a public parking lot just beside the club itself. Since it’s a public lot and not affiliated with the club there is always the possibility that the spots are full but those are the chances you take when you want to park in downtown Toronto.

The bouncer greeted us at the door to the downstairs club as we passed by the hotel’s entrance and I always wondered if you could get a room with one of the dancers since the place is attached to a strip club. The answer as it turns out is no. However, as we settled into our seats and gazed at the stage and the fabulous dancer on it, we were still pretty geared up for a night of fun. There are two kinds of seating at Filmores. One is your standard semi comfortable metal legged chair with black leather cushions and a large table for your drinks. The other is a sunken material covered bucket seat that is pretty damn relaxing to sit in and again comes with a table. However, it's much smaller and can only hold drinks for about three people without you knocking over someone’s beverage when you reach for your own. The larger tables cover most of the main floor of the bar while the others are lined along the walls for a theater like experience without the popcorn. The only thing the two have in common is that they are all pointed directly at Filmores main stage and trust me when I say that if they weren’t, you’d be turning them around yourself because you don’t want to miss a thing that happens on it.

The stage itself is a runway design that is shaped like a giant dong and I know what you’re thinking, I was laughing too. It has one brass poll sticking out of the head of the runway into the ceiling and two more on the back of the stage where there is also a dancer bar in front a large mirror just in case you’re an ass man and you just need to see it at all times. There is a quality lighting system and a disco ball that adds that extra little bit of flair. The mirror is a nice touch when it’s done right and unlike at, For Your Eyes Only, it doesn’t appear to be encrusted with layer upon layer of stripper grime. Every now and again when a strobe hits it, the mirror shows that it's a little dirtier than you think it is but again, unlike For Your Eyes Only, you don’t become obsessed with looking at it just for the pure nastiness and actually enjoy the girl’s truly fine butt reflected in it.

On the subject of the girls and just how damn good looking their various accouterments are, at Filmores there just seems to be no end to them. While watching the stage show, we commented to one another and wondered just how many there were in the club and we couldn’t get a set number pinned down between us. There are a lot of them and they cover the wholespectrum of what you might be looking for from a chesty east Indian girl in fishnet stockings to a blonde haired, spectacled girl with a naughty nurse costume. They really know what they are doing. The girls range from friendly and flirty to down right rude at sometimes but that's not the Clubs’ fault since they can't control the actions of their employees. What I’m referring to is while we were sitting enjoying our drinks watching the stage show, a girl walked up to one of the team and said, “Hey!... Wanna go for a dance?” He politely said that he was enjoying the stage show and she got huffy, “ Well, why the fuck did you even come here!” for his trouble and she stomped away. Granted, this is not the Club’s fault and for all we know this girl might have just got some bad news over the phone that was super glued to the side of her head all night but there is no reason to be a bitch to a paying customer when he just said that he didn’t want a dance. But this did not sour our night nor did it stop another member of the team from going up into Filmores’ VIP lounge where as for the goofy grin he had slapped all over his face when he got back, we figured he had a good time.

The VIP lounge is a nice place to visit but I don’t think I could afford to live there. It has a separate bar and separate plush leather sitting areas and even a nice little faux fireplace in case you didn’t know it was a luxury establishment by the sheer amount of leather alone. It used to be the smoking area back when Toronto decided to go smoke free in bars but instead smokers are cast out into the cold of winter to freeze their butts off.

All in all, the club is a damn fine place to visit if you’re in the area and I for one will certainly be stopping in for a beer from time to time. The staff are friendly and you get your order just about as soon as you would expect from a club that is often as busy as this one is. So if you’re wondering where to go next weekend when you’re looking for a good time out in the heart of Toronto, look no further..... It’s Filmores Hotel. And just think..... if you’re too drunk to drive home you can always get a room.... handy.